If lobotoblog could take a cream pie in the face from anyone, it would have to be from Jens Lehmann, Germany’s favourite comedian, second-best clown and occasional member of the world-famous troupe of Jerry jesters, The Lehmann Brothers, currently defunct.

Jens has always occupied a special place in lobotoblog’s heart, especially after he was caught trying to hide the clown shoes of Germany’s top clown, Oliver Kahn, during the run-up to the Custard Pie Cup. Jens’ recent performance just goes to show that his genius in the art of buffoonery is in no way diminished. His pies are to be savoured, preferably with some nutmeg or lemon meringue.

Jens, we salute you

Photo credit : Yappa

The Raspberry:

Oh the humanity! Spend fourteen hours picking the seeds out the crevices in your back teeth (as stubborn as a terrorist in a cave), then gaze at your broken fingernails and weep.

The Peanut:

Think of the children! Break one in half, titter at the sight of a bearded Peking Emperor taking his morning bath, then flick it up in the air,  swallow, and titter ye no more as you choke to an inch of your life.

The Chugnut:

The horror! The horror! Don’t pretend that these (aka the Dangleberry, Tagnut, or Wufflenut) have never got stuck in the fluff on their way out. Fortunately enough, Sophia Loren offers a removal service. She’s dab handy with a pair of scissors is Sophia.

For those of you that know this number, please sing along to the melody of  “oh when the saints” :

The Westwood Bop
The Westwood Bop
The Westwood Bop is wonderful
It’s full of shit, piss and vomit
The Westwood Bop is wonderful (oh yay!)

lobotobopper

Photo credit

shaken not stirred

A Kangaroo walks into a bar

“Gin and tonic please” he says and the barman serves him.

The kangaroo then sits down at the bar and drinks his gin and tonic.

“How much?” asks the kangaroo when he has finished.

“50 euros” says the barman.

The kangaroo, somewhat surprised, nevertheless hands over the money and is about to leave when the barman says :  “Funny…we dont see many Kangaroos in here…”

To which the kangaroo replies : “I’m not bloody surprised at 50 euros  for a gin and tonic“